Jan 19, 2024
Without a doubt this is the most personal LTB episode yet. And
you could say this episode took 33 years to make. I could never say
my dad and I had a bad or unhealthy relationship, however I always
knew I wanted to be closer, always desired something deeper. But I
wasn't sure how to go about it and wasn't sure if he wanted the
same thing. Years of therapy, years of conversations, years of
tears, years of (released) resentment have led to this
moment.
Coming back home in 2020, I was eager to work on the
relationships with my parents. When met with some
(intergenerational) roadblocks, I realized that what I was trying
to work through was built on foundations of trauma passed down from
parents, grandparents, great grandparents, well you get it. When
speaking with my dad, I realized that he and I share many of the
same fears, anxieties, thought patterns, behaviors and that my
story mirrors his in many ways. My frustrations with him are
similar to what he experienced with his own parents. A lack of
communication, lack of guidance at times, lack of emotional
closeness. For so long I can recall feeling empty when it
came to the relationships with my parents. I don't feel that way
anymore.
Seeing my dad as a man, trying to figure out his own life, and
not just as a dad eased some of the resentment I felt and created
the opening for empathy and understanding. Seeing him own his
healing journey and being willing to listen to me and have some of
those difficult yet necessary conversations healed parts of my
inner child that were perhaps unseen or unheard for so
long.
So here it is. Sharing a piece of our journey with yall.
Documenting this moment in time for the two of us and for whoever
comes next.
The Long Way Home. A return to ourselves.
Thank you for listening.